Employment gaps......

As I have stated before I was laid off from my job. I have since been applying for anything that I am qualified to do and even some things I am over qualified for, and if I happen to get a call for an interview (because let me tell you the call backs have been few and far between) one of the questions I am always asked (more so as time moves on) is to explain the time gap between my last job and now and it usually goes something like this- Employer: "So what have you been doing since your last job until now?" Me: " Looking for work." Employer: "You've been looking this whole time? Why haven't you found anything?" Me: "I put my resume out as much as possible and I apply but I don't get many call backs."  I then get the head nod and we move on to other questions. But the tone and the demeanor I receive with this question and with my response is disturbing to me because it seems to be one of disbelief. I would love to say "Well because you have a job, you may not have noticed that the state unemployment rate is nearly 10% and what that means is while I may be the best canidate for a position, my resume is probably getting lost in  the sea of the other hundreds of resumes and applications and competition is stiff, because people who are over qualified to do this position are being forced to apply for it because there's not a whole hell of a lot out there. So yes from the time I lost my job until now I have been looking for work." I almost feel like I should  make up some elaborate story to have on me for this question because obviously the truth is not working. It's hard enough trying to look for work do I have to be made to feel on the spot or bad that I have not found anything yet?

The greater good

I've realized over time, that you really have to choose your battles. There are some arguments, you're going to win, some you're not, and some that just never get resolved. The ones that never get resolved aren't always an agree to disagree either, they're just arguments you drop, just to stop arguing, but then pick back up at a later time. Does there have to be a clear cut winner? How many times can you keep having the same discussion with out there being a resolve? And why do we let things drop or just hang out there without resolution instead of dealing with it head on? Is it so we can make the illusion that everything is ok for now, when in actuality it's not? Is it for the greater good of everything else or is just a time bomb waiting to go off, that could blow everything that is good?

Can I get a little help around here???

My husband was definitely not born with the nesting instinct, when we met his kitchen was not a place to eat, but rather a workshop with wall to wall tools and no table or chairs. Of course this was all quickly remedied once I moved in, and he has been slightly domesticated. But I hate when I spend a whole day cleaning this place from top to bottom only to find it already getting messy the very next day! I don't cook, but I lucked out because he does, but does it take every pot, dish, bowl, and utensil we have to make one dinner? If your drink spills a little on the table is it really that hard to get a paper towel and wipe it up instead of waiting for it to air dry on to the table? When you make iced tea and mix spills onto the table can you wipe it up rather than pushing it onto the floor? (I saw an ant yesterday) And don't get me started on the stove after he makes even something as simple as mac and cheese. I hate feeling like a nag, but it drives me crazy! I really don't think I would have to be a nag if he just listened and did a few simple things, therefore taking the repeating of tasks (nagging) out of the equation. I'm not a neat freak or OCD about cleaning by any means, but I'm not his mother pick up after yourself at least a little. Funnier is when it's his turn to clean, things don't get cleaned rather than get made to look clean, until you lift up a vase or the toaster and see the dust and crumbs from not wiping under them. I won't even let him touch the dishes anymore, because there's always food residue left in them, which believe me has made having a dishwasher a prerequisite for our next apartment. I think I understand why some men, not all need to have a woman or rather why we seem to balance things out or maybe in some relationships it's reversed, but I understand how small things like this can turn into huge arguments, it's pent up from having to constantly do it yourself. Can I get a little help, please?

The beginning.....

It's as good a place as any to start. I'm 29, my husband is 37 and we've been married 1 year, together 7, and living together for 6. We have our ups and downs like any normal couple we have our good times and our bad. I guess right now would be one of the bad times in certain respects. I've been looking for work since having been laid off and he is on disability, so when the vows said "for richer, for poorer" this was the poorer they were talking about. We get by, by the skin of our teeth which I try to feel lucky about, because I know someone has it worse, but let's face it it's hard to feel lucky when you're trying to do the best you can and nothing seems to give. I wanted to start this blog, because while I know a lot of married couples, there are none that we really spend time with, so there's no friend who's also a wife who I can confide in, and my single friends don't always get it, so now the web is getting it. People never seem to want to give the behind the scenes look into their marriage anyway, for a myriad of reasons, but this is anonymous so I get to give the dirty details and not feel judged, and even if you are judging me you're anonymous internet people so it's ok.